We mentioned last week that spending fifteen minutes a day planning and preparing for your wedding is the best way to wear down the mountain of tasks you have before you and avoid being overwhelmed. Again, this can be something as simple as just researching floral designs and dresses online, or calling a single vendor and asking them about deals. Effective wedding planning is more marathon running than it is Olympic sprinting.
Of course, some days are going to demand more than fifteen minutes. Like, the day you go out shopping for a dress for or any D.I.Y projects you and your friends want to do to personalize your wedding. Even with effective planning and habitual devotion, trying to knock out all the tasks of a wedding can feel overwhelming.
There’s a reason for that –a big one –actually: no wedding is meant to be prepared alone. That may sound like common sense. It’s a shame how often common sense merits repeating. In truth, there’s no shortage of wedding couples who get stressed out and feel like they’re drowning in a sea of appointments and images comparisons on Pinterest. And really, that’s to be expected, we’re living in world where both the bride and groom are working full-time jobs. That alone makes it incredibly difficult, even assuming that’s the only responsibility you have (and we know the list goes on and on…) So, we’re going to get real: if you’re going to make it through this, you’ll need help. Weddings are a collaborative effort (they’re a communal ceremony for a reason).
So we’re going to echo another popular quote from The Art of War: “Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley.”
It doesn’t matter if you’re a commander, a CEO or a bride (groom) to-be. A common trait among the best of these is understanding that not only do you need help, but getting the most out of that help requires empathy. This goes for anyone that’s helping with your wedding. Family members and the people who are in the trenches with you, helping you pick out (or make) bouquets; being there for your dress fittings, and helping you schedule.
We’re not just telling you to remember to say “thank you”. The middle manager who keeps forgetting your name can still ‘thank the team’ at the milestone business meeting. That doesn’t make people feel special –that’s not treating “your men as your own beloved sons”. Ask for the wedding parties’ advice and assign them specific tasks based on what they’re good at. Not only will they feel flattered that you recognize what they’re good at, but people are most enthused when they feel they have a real impact on things. Business efficiency analysts have found that the hardest workers are those who were shown that their work has a direct influence on the life or death of the business–let your helpers know that you truly can’t do this without them. This gratefulness is where the tradition of giving the wedding party gifts comes from. Give them a reason and show how grateful you are, and people will help you construct the wedding of your dreams.
Okay, now that we’ve covered that, next week will continue with actually going over what tasks you want to get done half a year before the wedding (no, seriously, we mean it this time). Until next time,
When you know yourself, and you know the wedding, you’ll find victory in every ceremony.